Things I've learned in my early 20s

Today is my 26th birthday!

And I think, this is by far one of the happiest birthdays that I've had.

Like seriously! It is!

I'm really happy and I just wish I could literally share this with everyone. Specially to those who aren't feeling ok right now.

Unlike the usual blogs that I'm writing, I'd like this to be as personal as it has to be yet something that could help others.

I'd like this to become an "ode", well sorta, for millennials like me who are now experiencing the so called "quarter-life crisis".

According to an article in Bradley University,

"quarter-life crisis is a period of uncertainty and questioning that typically occurs when people feel trapped, uninspired and disillusioned during their mid-20s to early 30s."

It's basically a period or phase in your life when you start to wake up and question yourself, "Why am I doing this?", "Is this really for me?", "Am I in the right path?", "I think I'm lost?" and literally "I don't know what to do."

ok, a brief disclaimer!

What I'll be writing here are basically the things I learned encountering this "crisis". This may or may not be applicable to your life but I'm still hoping that maybe... just maybe... I'll make some sense.

1. It's fine not knowing what to do.

Yeah! It's totally fine! I don't know if you'll understand it but sometimes, it's when we don't know the answer that we get to understand and assess the situation even better. 'Cause here, we get to acknowledge that it's still a long way to go and that we're not all born geniuses or all-knowing that on our first cry as a baby, we already figured out what life is. This then amplify the need for us to ask questions, to seek some help because, truth be told, we can't do it all alone.

2. Keep trying!

Keep trying. And really, never be afraid of failures. Easier said than done right? and I know this could lead to deep frustrations but after every instances that you feel this, go back to your senses and ask yourself..."Did I do my best?", because if yes, pick yourself up and be comforted by that fact that you did your best. Sure, you'll fail a couple of times, or multiple times, and often, for some hell-bound reasons, you keep on repeating the same mistakes over and over again and you're doing it unknowingly, just push through. Keep going. Apologize, acknowledge your mistake and learn from it! like earnestly learn from it!

3. God damn it! Stop pleasing people and start pleasing yourself!

I mean not narcissistically! but really, at this point of your life, you really have to take into consideration your life, your future! Dude! we're not getting any younger and yes, you only live once! You owe it to yourself to be "pleased" by what you are doing with your life. With this, I'm pretty sure that those who love you will feel the same way too. I mean, if they're genuinely love you, I'm sure they will! And it's a bitter pill to swallow, you can't please everybody. So I say, stop sticking your nose to your "bosses'" life just to compliment them with how they look, how they act, how they run things because honestly, for all you know, they don't care about you! Ooops! Does that hurt? Sorry!

4. OMG! Let go and Let GOD!

I'm not extremely religious person, but I know that I have to surrender all things to the "almighty". Oh well, as the saying goes, "Man proposes, God disposes". Of course, you have to work for something that you really want but don't be too frustrated if it will not turn out the way you want it to be. C'mon, you should know by now that there are things that you really can't control i.e. people's beliefs and reactions. Instead of paying too much attention to those, why not try to focus on those that you can control i.e. your reaction and action. When things aren't going into places, try to pray, meditate. It works.

5. Be Nice! Be Kind!

Bud! It's freaking free! You have to understand that we are all going into different levels of hardships everyday. So c'mon! give it your best shot to smile and be courteous. You know, just to uplift someone else's mood or your mood for that matter. Ask nicely. Say thank you. Say sorry. Say please. Say "you are welcome". Genuinely compliment someone. Acknowledge their work. Help others in need without expecting something in return. This world is full of sad and disappointed faces, try to pass on that smile!

6. It's ok not to be ok.

Yes I'm encouraging you to smile, but that doesn't mean you'll try to fake your pain by just merely smiling and putting your chin up. Cry. It's ok not to be ok. Yes we have to encourage happiness, but when it's time to breakdown, breakdown! Don't keep it in. Don't let it bottle up until it's already rimming and you're out of control. Cry. Shout. Let it out. You failed in an exam? Cry! You're lover broke up with you? Cry! You lost someone? Cry! Let it out, if you must. No one is requiring you to be "fine" and "happy" 24/7.

7. Just please, try not to judge!

Again, you don't know what others are going through right now, so as much as possible, try to be the bigger person and understand. But be warry! understanding has its limits. You have a friend that doesn't like pineapples on pizzas, c'mon! Just don't order Hawaiian! But dude, it's different when he or she is racist, a supporter of EJK, anti-LGBT, bigot, rapist and criminal!

8. Protect your peace!

Your peace is priceless. When things aren't going ok already and you are slowly becoming restless, stressed, anxious, angry and uninspired, take a step back and breathe. Then, you ask yourself, "Is this still worth it?", "Is my peace still intact?" and if you answer no or if you simply can't answer, get out. Save yourself.

Also, choose your battles. You get in to a misunderstanding, assess if it's worth arguing for. If you can let it pass, I say let it pass but not to the extent that you are being abused already. You can save your peace while being affirmative with what you deserve.

9. YOU. ARE. VALID.

It's already 2020! You are free to be whoever or whatever you want to be. So long as you don't harm or affect others negatively, just do it. You're a man and you're falling in love with a man, just go with it! You're a woman who thinks genuinely that you're really a man, be it. Love and yourself, they're beautiful. We're all beautiful. You matter. Don't let others dull your sparkle just because theirs aren't as shiny as yours. YOU ARE VALID.

10. Keep on dreaming bud!

Just because you aren't sure where you are going right now, doesn't mean you wouldn't continue aspiring to live a better life. Keep dreaming. Keep aiming to be the better version of yourself. You may not know what lies ahead but still keep going.

Slowly try different things that you find interesting. Do it, and observe if you're happy doing it and if you think that somehow, some people find it inspiring, keep it going. Then step by step, believe and keep that inspiration. And trust me, you'll be better. You'll be better until one day, you'll wake up, and probably say... I think this is my calling. From there, don't stop until the future that seems to be vague before become much clearer.

More than these 10, I'm sure that there are still a lot of lessons that you'll encounter or that you already encountered. Still, try to marry these ideas and from now on, look things on a pragmatic level.

Last words, don't be too busy growing up to you forget you're also growing old!

and oh! Celebrate your happiness :) Pancake!